A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume.
And the day of one’s death better than the day of one’s birth.
It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting.
After all, everyone dies, so the living should take this to heart and solemnly ponder it’s meaning.
Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.
The heart of the wise [learns when it] is in the house of mourning,
While a fool thinks only about having a good time.
(Ecclesiastes 7:1-4 AMP and NLT versions)
I had a dream in the beginning of July, where I was helping to prepare a dear friends home for the funeral of one of their family members. This dear friend was no one in particular and no one that I actually know in waking life. In this dream, I had arrived early to help set up for the arrival of many people. There was also an anticipation of my friend and their family’s arrival to the home, as if they had not been staying there. So it was myself and a few other people, who were helping set up and get things in order for the arrival of all the guests and for the ceremony to start. As I was walking through the house finishing up what needed to be done, I noticed that some of the guests that had arrived were not dressed appropriately. I was dressed up in a black dress with my hair and make up done, while some of the guests were wearing bikinis and swim trunks. And these same people were just standing around with coolers of alcohol, smoking more than cigarettes, and siting on the staircase doing different kinds drugs. Needless to say they were under the influence, completely oblivious to why we were all there and had no clue to what was about to take place. I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going to stay for the ceremony, and that I wanted to leave early before all the people showed up. I did not want to be stuck behind all the traffic and chaos. So I made my way through the house and was able to leave through a front door, and there I could see the waiting lines that had been set up and taped off in anticipation for all the people to arrive.
And then I woke up…that was the end of my dream, and the Lord immediately told me that in my dream I had been in a “house of mourning”. I knew that phrase was the biblical terminology for a funeral (depending on which version you read), so I looked it up and started reading and studying what the bible had to say about “ the house of mourning”. I read Ecclesiastes 7:1-4 and it perfectly summed up my dream. That was the word, vision and impression the Lord had laid on my heart about this.
Six weeks later I found myself at a real house of mourning for my real, dear friend Caleb.
-1000+ people signed the guest book
- There were actual lines of people waiting to get inside the building
I only found out about Caleb’s accident 1 day before he left the earth. The last I knew he was doing what he did best: not wasting a moment and seeing what good things this world had to offer…this time in Maine. I wasted no time going to the Lord and I prayed for my friend. I prayed for a sign of life. I prayed for his healing, I prayed for his recovery and I prayed for his return home. It may seem like I never got to see the things I prayed for, but in fact I have seen and heard things I never even asked for. I’ve been able to trade my sadness in for the Lord’s revelation and trade my grief in for His signs and wonders. Here are some of the things the Lord has shown me during this time, as the Lord quickly showed me the stunning similarities between the heart of Jesus and the heart of Caleb…..
He did it for the least of them….You don’t have to look very far into Caleb’s life to see that he had a mighty passion and purpose in his heart to help people. He turned his years of fundraising and giving back into the community, into a successful and thriving non profit charity organization, DudeCharity.org. From the pop-up barbershops for the homeless community, to the donated coats and cold weather items, the hundreds of meals and homeless care kits put together and distributed, and the thousands of dollars raised for these causes and many, many more, this is just a glimpse of what Caleb’s heart held for people. He did not shy away from or back down from the hardships of others, he instead created a healing place for them and engaged others to work along side him in these gracious acts of giving.
Jesus said in Matthew 25:35-40, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you cared for me. I was in prison and you visited me.” The people responded, “ When did we ever do those things for you Lord?” Jesus responded, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me.”
The way Caleb pursued me, is the same way Jesus pursues me……Caleb was a better friend than I was. He was so good about keeping in touch and reaching out to say hello. It was all about the invitation. He extended many more invitations to me to meet up and connect than I did to him. The funny truth is, that my lack of invitation at times never really stopped him from inviting himself along any ways. There were countless stories shared by his family and friends of how he would just show up, unannounced for a visit. If he was close enough that he could be there, he would be there. We have a similar invitation to share our lives and give our hearts to Jesus while we are here on this earth. He pursues us relentlessly with His love and forgiveness, and healing in the deepest parts of our being, regardless of our lack of invitation at times. It doesn’t change the fact that He just wants to be with us. Simply put it’s all about relationship. A good relationship is pursuing one another, inviting one another through out the days, months, and years. It comes down to time. Are we willing to give our time to Him and accept His invitations and turn around and invite him back? Yes, the bible says Jesus is the savior of the world but He was also a friend. I have a good friend in Jesus, as I also had a good friend in Caleb.
I prayed for a sign of life and the Lord gave me many…..I prayed, and prayed, and prayed for the 24 hours that I knew about his accident. I prayed for Caleb’s complete healing and that there would be just one sign of life. It didn’t happen the way I asked for it, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. I believe that healing always exists in heaven, and that we get to witness it on earth. We are not only alive while we are on this earth, we are still alive forever after. Mark 9:26-27 reads: “The boy appeared to be dead. A murmur ran through the crowd as people said, ‘He’s dead.’ But Jesus took him by the hand and helped him to his feet, and he stood up.” Then Luke chapter 9:42-43 adds this one extra detail to this story… “ Then Jesus gave the boy back to his father. Awe gripped the people as they saw this majestic display of God’s power.” And this has been me… the one in awe as I continue to watch the majestic displays of God’s power. A coincidence can’t explain how two days after his passing, Caleb’s PayPal account appeared under my PayPal account as someone I had paid money to. I have never paid him a dime through
PayPal, I never knew he even had an account. Or the random hat I ran over in the middle of the highway on my way home from his funeral; after I had been staring, marveling, and counting his hats all day hanging around the room of his memorial. And a coincidence definitely can’t explain how I rearranged the pictures and magnets on my fridge, kept my favorite picture of Caleb and I, and hung it up with the souvenir magnet my parents got me from their trip to Maine. Two months later that would be the same place of his accident and death. I will be honest….these signs were upsetting to me at first, especially the magnet and photo. I just couldn’t understand how and why I picked that magnet… and then I questioned what other terrible things were arranged on my fridge?
I felt the Lord saying over and over, “ It’s evidence! It’s evidence of Caleb’s life, it”s evidence of his existence.”
I noticed how the Lord did not speak in past tense. He didn’t say existed, He said existence, as in still does. I limited the Lord when I asked for only one sign of life from Caleb, for He has clearly given me many more. He gave a 1000+ more signs with just the gathering alone, of the people
who knew Caleb and was impacted by him. I believe that the Lord is preparing us daily, weekly, monthly, and by the years, in advance for such times like this. The signs and wonders will end up serving as evidence of this when we need it most.
"And God confirmed the message by giving signs and wonders and various miracles and gifts of the Holy Spirit whenever He chose. -Hebrews 2:4
I am in my last days of life on earth just like Caleb was….We all are. Every day that passes, is another day closer to our exit from this earth. I have realized that the Lord doesn’t really operate or think in terms of only human years. He operates on the time frame of creation, and we are all in the era of the end-time of creation. And the Lord revealed to me that we are in the same position Caleb was in. Caleb had time on earth before he died and we also have time on earth before we die. The question is what are we doing with the time we have been given? Since time is given, that means it is a gift. Are we handling our gift well? If you knew Caleb you know he didn’t waste a chance to live out any new experience for the first time. He adventured actual places around the world, but he also adventured the heart of humanity…caring for people known to him and unknown to him. Time has a deceitful way (or really the devil has deceived us about the reality of time) as in we assume we will get another chance tomorrow. Another chance to make things right with the people in our life. Another day to spend time with our loved ones or reach out to the ones that need to be loved. Another chance to call, text, or visit. Or another tomorrow to choose salvation for our souls and make Jesus the Lord of our lives. The house of mourning is not a house to be lived in, but a house just to visit. Just like our time here on earth, we are only made to visit, not stay forever. We will always be a visitor in the house of mourning, until the day we are the host. Like my dream, some people will be dressed and ready to go, while some will not recognize they aren’t ready at all.
"Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen in you life tomorrow. [What is secure in your life?] You are merely a vapor [like a puff of smoke or a wisp of steam from a cooking pot] that is visible for a little while and then vanishes [into thin air]".- James 4:14 (AMP)
Extraordinarily Human.....I would call Caleb extraordinary. I don’t know anyone else like him. He did the things that most people turn their backs and a blind eye to. Most people (including myself) can easily carry on and not be too affected by those in need. Being poor is not limited to being without food, shelter, and clothing. A person can also be poor in spirit, emotions and made poor by oppression. Caleb didn’t carry on unaffected by poor human conditions. He stopped, he asked, he reached out, he created, and he provided the things that people were lacking. He had this way of bringing multiple different worlds together all at the same time, just by staying true to himself and true to his passions. I watched him relate to the people not because he himself was poor, but because he himself was human, just the same as they are. The similarities between the actions of Caleb and the actions of Jesus are undeniable, even down to the same spoken words. “ The dudes abide” are the words Caleb chose as a Dudecharity.org slogan, while Jesus says in John 15:5 “He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” The definition of abide is: to remain, stay, or exist. The Dudecharity was the call of Caleb’s heart, for the “dudes” who partner alongside him, who remain, stay, or exist in his heart’s mission. I believe Caleb’s mission for people was a reflection of Jesus’s mission for people. I dare you to read through the gospels (Mathew, Mark, Luke, John), read through Jesus’s ministry, and you will see some of Caleb’s best moves on those pages. How extraordinary to still be seen even after you are gone from sight. To continue to still have access to your loved ones or your loved ones to you, all through living your life the way Jesus did. Having a heart after Jesus, means first giving your heart Him. This is the mighty connection between God and creation and this is the truest legacy a person can leave. You can be poor in material things, but be rich in your heart. Or you can be rich in the material things, but poor in your heart. Compassion and love for others is a sign of being rich, and by that Caleb was a very rich man.
We don’t have to wait for the next extraordinary person to come along and be the better friend, to call, text, or visit. Or wait for someone else to have a heart for people and think of ways to love and reach out. We were made in God’s image also (Genesis 1:27), just like Caleb was, so that also makes us extraordinary. The difference is, being aware of this revelation and being willing to participate. Are you under the influence of the things of this world, like the people in my dream? The influence of distractions, pain, pressure, burdens, worry, guilt, or fears? Are you aware of how purposefully and wonderfully made you are (Psalms 139:14), and that this is your chance to accept this truth while you still have the time to do so? You don’t have to sit and watch other people live purposefully or extraordinary, because you were made to do just the same.
Extraordinary (adj.) - beyond what is usual, ordinary, regular, or established.
I have echoed some of the same words and sentiments that have already been shared about Caleb. It’s not hard to share the impact he had on others, but it was important to share his impact on me. Beyond the parties, the weddings, and the usual ‘I’ll be in town Monday night’ dinners, he was my friend…but more importantly, my loving example. I will be forever proud of him, to know him and make him known. I am thankful for his close friends and family who have helped him shape and support the efforts of his heart over the years and that they will continue on doing so. It is not a one-man show when trying to love the world, nor should it ever be.
And Jesus had help too… through his disciples. He told them to go out into all the earth and make disciples just like them, out of the nations.(Matthew 28:19-20)
The Lord is saying, “Go tell people what I have told you, what you know about the Me and the Kingdom of Heaven. Go tell people that time here on earth is very short, but the time after earth lasts forever.”
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