I took a sabbatical and I didn’t even mean to….
I can’t believe that it's been over a year since my last blog post. I never intended to take such a long break. I had envisioned blogging and posting regularly and more often, but that's not how things worked out. It's my human nature to put pressure on myself for things to go a certain way, and it leads to disappointment when they don’t. It has taken my spiritual nature to step in and remove mentioned pressures and expectations that I’m not meant to carry in the first place. This is always a continual place for growth and development for me, and coming to the realization of how I thought things were supposed to be vs. God’s original intention for it all. I pressured myself to write and create more content and felt like a failure when I didn’t produce and deliver. I pressured myself to catch everything the Lord was saying and showing me, and to get it out there so everyone else could hear and see it too. The amount of words, truth, revelations, signs, and wonders, that Lord is revealing is truly outstanding, but also very overwhelming to me. The Lord is doing a lot, He is saying a lot, and I put a pressure on myself to not miss any of it and at the same time, present and articulate them well.
Sitting down to write a blog felt forced, tedious, and it was the last thing I wanted to do. I never felt like I was in the right mind space to write and be creative, and I lacked the energy to even try. I was exhausted knowing that the Lord had put writing on my heart and was giving me all the things to say and I just wasn’t doing it. A few weeks turned into a few months, then a couple more months, to now over a year. During the summer the Lord gave me the word Sabbatical. I looked up the definition and couldn’t believe how accurate it was. He was letting me know that I was on a break that I needed, but never knew I needed it. It has been a break to fully understand the truth: that there is a weight of importance to what the Lord is saying and doing in my life, but not to confuse that with the pressure of performing. To take a break from the pressure of presenting and know the Lord was not pressuring me to do that, he is inviting me to. He’s not pressuring me to show up, sit down, and spend the time to put all the things he has done together, He’s inviting me to do it. I didn’t know the difference between a sweet invitation and the pressure to perform duties. My calling and my purpose is not a duty, it’s a space I get to occupy and watch & witness the greatness of the Lord. It’s also an invitation to not remain the same. To not remain complacent in my habits that don’t serve me (or others) well, and to not remain unaware of God’s truth for my life.
[Sab-bat-ical]: any extended period of leave from one's customary work, especially for rest, to acquire new skills or training
I completely believe that there is a call and a purpose for every person and it's just the fact of do we realize it and do we accept it. It won’t be forced upon us, but it is graciously offered to us. If we feel a overwhelming pressure, guilt, or shame for not walking in our God given purpose, that is not a confirmation from the Lord, but a confirmation from the enemy. It’s ok to feel the weight and recognize God’s enormity, but not to be condemned, pressured, or paralyzed by it. That weight we feel and try to carry alone, is just the evidence that who God is and that what he is establishing on the Earth is a big deal. It’s evidence that we who believe and are called to bear witness to the Lord are also a big deal, and the enemy will always do his best to keep us as small as possible. Thankfully we aren’t expected to carry the heaviness alone and Matthew 11:28-30 is such a perfect reminder of that.
Leviticus 25 talks about the Israelites taking a sabbatical year and it says, "no work will be done and the fields will be left unplowed during this time." There is also another word used in this chapter following the sabbatical and that’s the word Jubilee. It was the celebration after the accumulation of multiple sabbaticals taken. In these verses that’s where hope lies. Taking the time and allowing the Lord to lead you to times and seasons of rest, whether we feel like we need it or deserve it ( it’s a gift from the Lord). What is gained during the sabbaticals and sabbaths we take, is much to be celebrated. What the Lord is doing for his people and the earth is much to be celebrated, which means there are good things still to come.
It’s time to get back into the fields and start plowing again.
This sabbatical year has brought forth a new training to my heart and my mind; a much needed revelation which is knowing the difference between being pressured to move forward and genuinely willing (and ready) in my heart to move forward. I don’t want to pursue the things God has given me to do unless I am willing from my heart to do them. That is not saying I will know what lays ahead in the future or how it will all work out, there will be uncertainties. What I can say is, I know that I can follow the Leader, instead of always feeling like I have to be one. I get to write, share, and create content about my faith and ever developing relationship with the God of creation himself, but I honestly don’t have to. With that being said, I have become increasingly aware of what will happen if I don’t move forward in what the Lord has called me to do. I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t share the moves of God, and the character of God, the transforming power of his word, and the renewal of ourselves when we are in relationship with him, then someone else may share an untrue version of it all OR, there would remain a people who would never know God at all. A people that would never be encouraged to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior, their only access to heaven. And that my friends, has been the real weight of it all.
I hope you'll be encouraged to officially take a break from remaining the same, and seek the Lord for what he has for you. Let’s take a break from denying the change God is trying to do in our lives. Let's break away from our perceived pressures of being with Him and just simply accept His kind invitation instead.
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